The Cycle Of Violence

  A theory that was one of the first attempts to describe the dynamics of battering. It is an outgrowth of a mental health/medical model that recommends stress management and communication skills approaches and implies complicity by the victim i.e., a form of victim-blaming.

 This theory postulates that battering occurs In three cyclical stages: tension-building, beating and honeymoon.
Many women do see similarities between the reality of their experience and this theory, at least in the beginning of the relationship with their batterer.

In the past 25 years, however, much has been learned from the experts: the women who have experienced battering. The tension-building stage discounts the cause of violence as a matter of poor stress reduction and relaxation skills.

The beating stage acknowledges only the physical form of violence and distorts its occurrence as an isolated event that happens every so often.

The honeymoon stage is when the batterer attempts to “make up” and may show remorse or act nice, e.g., doing dishes, bringing groceries, and offering to watch the children. Sometimes it means having sex, ignoring the fact that the woman has been physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually beaten, and is unable to safely say “no.” Less than 50% of battered women report having experienced anything resembling a honeymoon stage. Those that have say that over time this stage stops happening and the violence worsens.

Let's Break The Cycle Of Violence!

Warning Signs

The following checklist may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.

1. Do you feel its not OK to confide in others about your relationship?

2. Do you hope & pray things will change...especially if you can just do everything right?

3. Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior?

4. Do you find yourself walking on eggshells, unsure of when and how to say something?

5. Do you doubt your own  decisions and or judgment?

6. Do you doubt your  sense of self and or abilities?

7. Do you feel unsafe and insecure?

8. Do you feel emotionally unsafe or suffer from low to no self esteem?

9. Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior?

10. Do you feel increasingly depressed and without hope?

11. Do you feel increasingly trapped and powerless?

12. Do you or have been  afraid of your partners actions or moods?

13. Do you have or have had physcial injuries from your partner, even once?

14. Do you believe  your life is suppose to be this way?

If you answered "Yes" to just one of these questions, you may be a victim of domestic violence.

Please know that you are not to blame and that you are not alone - millions upon millions of women are abused by their partners every year all over the world.

In any case, you are precious in God's sight and you don't have to face domestic violence alone. Don't blame yourself you need and deserve help, help is available please contact the nearest domestic violence provider in your area, or simply click on the link below and click on the Hot Peach Pages Link to find help in your own country and language.